Dinner Time: Job of Wife or Husband

For this week’s ‘Because I said so’ Buck and I will be answering a question submitted by Badger Momma.  Or should I say questions…?  We figured since all three of her questions were centered around the same topic (the kitchen) we would attack them all at once.

Badger Momma quoted below:

1) What’s your take on making dinner and clean up? Should the person making the dinner be exempt from cleaning up? Should the other person be on clean up duty? Should it fully be a shared duty? Should husbands and wives trade off? Should each person be required to at least carry their own plate (after having dinner) to the sink area?

2) If you have small children, should both parents (if there are two, of course) share the responsibility of getting the kids’ plates ready at dinner-time? Or do you think it’s perfectly acceptable for one person to serve themselves, sit down to eat, and leave the other person to ready the childrens’ plates (serving, cutting, etc.)?

3) Is it REALLY a male gene that prevents them from finding ANYTHING in the fridge or pantry if it’s behind something else?

I am going to try and answer the above questions in order.  But first let’s all take in consideration that I am single, therefore the only parent in the household at this time.  Since I wasn’t always the sole parent I am going to base my answers off of past experiences.

1}  Although I’d love to say in my past experiences that everything was equally shared.  I’d readily admit if I was Susie Homemaker or Mrs. Betty Crocker and my significant other was the male equivalent of Martha Stewart (in the cleanliness aspect), but reality is… it ain’t so.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure we had our evenings where everything went smoothly; dinner was ready, we sat as a family and the one of us who didn’t cook cleaned the mess.  But then there are those nights…  you know the ones.  Where everything is a rush.  One child needs help with homework, one parent is cooking dinner, as everyone is finishing dinner there are other chores to be done such as bathing a child, bedtime routine, homework check and of course that leaves the dishes to whomever is left.  I used to attend college full time during the day and in the evenings was my time to get my own homework done.  So after spending some family time together and bathing my daughter, if I was the one who cooked I didn’t have time to clean it up as well.  I will admit that I was lucky in that area that it was mostly give and take.  I’m not the best cook in the world either so allowing my significant other to have a night of chef duty isn’t a bad thing and I’ve got loading a dish washer down to a science, let me tell ya!

Now looking outside of my past experiences and to share my current views with you.  I will say I do not believe it is fair for one sole person to do all the cooking and cleaning day in and day out while also caring for children, whether you work outside the home or not.  To be raising children at home is a full time job, in my opinion.  IF there are two adults in the home.  I’m raising three children and I know I don’t need another one that is grown to add to my plate.  To have another adult in the house to cook for and clean up after 24/7 would be too much.  Now on that note I also will say I am fully ready to cook and clean sometimes, share the cooking and cleaning duty sometimes and even take the day off at times.  There might be a night I need to get an article written or have work to accomplish and would enjoy my significant other picking up the slack for the night and I’m sure after he worked hard all day there are times he would want to come home and rest.  So although I wish there was an easy answer for every night, I just don’t think I’m organized enough to fit that role.  Nothing is ever the same in my house nightly.  And as far as plates go… yes everyone can at least make it to the sink with their dishes.

2}  If there is a certain circumstance where one parent is leaving right after dinner in a rush, such as one parent works at night or has a PTA meeting to attend, then maybe I would understand the dine and dash.  Otherwise if both parents are home before dinner begins and don’t plan to leave right after eating I do not think it is appropriate to eat before the children.  I personally couldn’t make my own plate and sit down to eat while everyone else waited.  In my experiences one parent is making plates as the other is pouring drinks, then we all sit down together as a family to eat.

3}  Although this part of the question is hilarious and I’d love to tell you what I think of all the male genes that don’t seem quite right, I’ll leave this question for Buck to answer since he is the male.

Speaking of Buck… I’m heading over to read his answers right now, you coming?

Thank you Badger Momma for giving us some fun questions to answer!  Who’s next?

Have a topic or question you would like to hear our views on? Have you always wanted to hear both sides of a topic or answers to a question, unbiased? You can submit topics or questions via comments or even anonymously to djane (at) mommadjane (dot) com. We will pick questions at random and blog on one topic per week.