What Every College Freshmen Needs to Know

In the frenzy of SATs, college visits, applications, and financial issues, many parents forget that youngsters leaving for college need basic skills.

College freshmen, on their own for the first time, may never have done basic things such as laundry, grocery shopping, and making their own decisions. This can be a recipe for disaster.

When teens learn skills and responsibility, they acquire a sense of competency, Austin-based psychologist and author Carl Pickhardt said in an interview. This helps prepare them to live as independent adults. Which, ultimately, is the goal. It refers to an ability to study, being a competitive essay writer and researcher, setting children’s minds to creativity, etc.

While the specific skills that kids need depend to a certain extent on a family’s values and circumstances, every college freshman should have had practice with these five basics.

Teens Need the Ability to Make Good Choices

The ability to make good decisions is central to everything else, said Michael Bradley, Ed.D. a clinical psychologist and author specializing in adolescence, in an interview. Parents who continue to make decisions for teens deprive them of the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and take pleasure from good choices.

Teach this skill by letting teens start making their own decisions in high school. Parents need to commit to respecting their teens’ decisions, even if the parents don’t like them. Yes, teens will inevitably make bad decisions – they are human, after all – but doing so while living at home provides a safety net. Deciding which classes to take, how to allocate their time between studying and recreation, and how to spend their money are all decisions that will have enough consequences to provide learning opportunities, without being life-threatening. Parents tempted to step in need to heed Bradley’s words: “A bad decision made well is worth more than a good decision made poorly,” or, in other words, by Mom or Dad stepping in and aborting the lesson.

Teens even need to ultimately make their own decisions about college, Bradley says. Too often, he says, parents focus so much on getting their kids into the “right school” that they fail to equip them to handle attending.

Teens Need to Practice Dealing With Difficulty

Another essential skill, knowing how to fail, can only be learned if kids do it once in a while. While this is something many parents can barely stomach, remember that absolutely no one gets through this world without failing, and those who can handle it will ultimately be better off.

Bradley attributes record numbers of young people suffering from depression, anxiety, and eating disorders to a culture obsessed with being perfect and never making mistakes. This just leaves kids unable to handle uncertainty and stress.

Teach Teens Practical Skills

Kids need practical skills such as cleaning, shopping, cooking, and caring for a car. Generally, whatever skills parents use regularly are the ones they should teach their children.

Parents need to make sure their teens understand the basic maintenance of their home and car, as well. Not all parents may think their teen needs to know how to change the oil in the car, for example, but they do need to know that it needs to be done and where to find someone to do it.

A critical skill of daily living is managing money, especially in the current economic climate. Beginning at an early age, give kids an age-appropriate weekly allowance ($1 per year of age is one rule of thumb), and set clear boundaries about what parents will pay for and what kids must pay on their own. As the amount grows, so should the list of what kids are expected to pay for with it. Some future students use this money on paper writing help online that can help them become more productive and manage their finances. Kids learn a lot about handling money by listening to a civilized discussion about family finances and spending.

Again, parents need to resist the urge to bail their kids out. Letting them deal with a monetary shortfall will teach them a lot before the consequences are more grave. Be sure teens know how to use a bank account, how credit works, and how to get and hold a job as well. Experience is the best teacher, for these and many other skills.

Help Teens Learn How to Treat Others

Teens need to know how to manage relationships, including how to treat others, how to expect others to treat them, and handling differences and disagreements. For many, the college will be the first time they’ve had to share a bedroom or, perhaps, even a bath. That can be tricky without some preparation.

Parents have been teaching lessons about relationships lessons from the moment their kids were born, whether they knew it or not, just by their behavior.

Leave the door open for children to call and ask advice when they encounter something they aren’t sure how to handle, or when they make a mistake. Finally, don’t gender-discriminate when it comes to teaching skills. Girls need to know how to check the oil just as much as boys do, and boys need to know how to prepare a meal as well.