Taking Engagement into Your Own Hands: the Pros and Cons

You and your partner have agreed to get married, and you know you’ll get engaged sometime soon. But so far the proposal hasn’t happened, and maybe you don’t want to wait. So if it doesn’t seem forthcoming, should you take things into your own hands? Some women take control of the proposal by being the one to propose. After all, there’s no law that says only men can propose. Other women take a rather different approach and plan a proposal for their partner to carry out. But if you’re thinking about being the one to propose, you might want to consider some pros and cons first.

The Pros

There are several excellent benefits to being the person to propose marriage in your relationship. Anyone who loves to be in charge will be happy to hear that many of them boil down to you getting to have control. It gives you the chance to plan everything, and create a proposal that you will both like. Whether that’s sitting on the sofa with some popcorn or standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower, you can create something special that suits both of you as a couple. It might look slightly different to your dream proposal if you’re doing the proposing, but it can still be pretty close.

If you want an engagement ring, that’s another thing you’ll get to be in control of. You won’t have any awkward dilemmas because you’ve been presented with a ring you don’t like. You get to look at diamond engagement rings and choose the one you love or maybe look at some rings with other stones. You could also get your soon-to-be-fiance an engagement gift of some kind, whether it’s also a piece of jewelry or something a little different. Choosing to propose makes your engagement story special, and it’s a great way to buck tradition.

The Cons

If you’re unsure, there might be a couple of things you’re worrying about. Firstly, choosing to propose yourself does mean you don’t get that proposal you had always dreamed of. You won’t be in a ballgown on a horse while your partner gets down on one knee. However, to get that perfect proposal, you would probably have to dictate it to your partner anyway. Is it so special if you have to tell him what to do?

Another thing to consider is, of course, whether your partner would be receptive to a proposal. There’s a chance he might feel you’ve taken something from him by doing it yourself. But if you know him well, you should have a fairly good idea of how he would feel about it. It’s worth considering how other people might feel too. If the idea of people gossiping or disapproving of you choosing a less traditional route to engagement puts you off, perhaps proposing isn’t for you. If you have friends or family that are more conservative, you need to be prepared for some possible judgment.

There are both benefits and possible drawbacks to proposing when you’re a woman. But if it’s what you want, don’t let your doubts hold you back.