5 Ways to Respond When a Friend Hurts You
Whenever we love, we experience great joy and the comfort of having a deep connection with someone. However, we also make ourselves vulnerable and risk getting hurt. And when it happens, it is easy to feel like we can never recover or trust again.
As everything turns inside out, it is difficult to think rationally about the situation. How to deal with emotional and physical pain? How to overcome anger, resentment, and sorrow?
First and foremost, breathe. Try to take a step back, do not act under strong emotions, and focus on yourself. Then, once you are calmer, though still furious and hurt, you can act a bit more reasonably.
Here are some ways to respond to the pain caused by a person close to your heart.
Take Some Time to Think Before You Decide to Talk
Do not immediately call or text your friend. In the heat of the moment, you will probably say things you do not mean and later regret. It is better to calm down a bit before trying to talk to them.
Think about what you want to say and ask yourself if it will help the situation or just make it worse. If you decide that a conversation would be beneficial, try to schedule it for a time when you are both free for a longer period of time and choose a place where you will not be interrupted. This way, you will have each other’s undivided attention.
Write a Letter (That You Will Not Send)
Sometimes, it can be difficult to express what we are feeling out loud. In these cases, writing a letter can be therapeutic. To begin with, read a few best fake friends quotes and think about everything that has happened. Next, get all your thoughts and feelings down on paper and read it over. Once you have done that, you might feel better and more capable of dealing with the situation.
However, do not send the letter! It will probably just make things worse. The other person will feel attacked and will either get defensive or feel guilty, neither of which is helpful in resolving the conflict. Instead, use the letter as a cathartic exercise for yourself, then put it away and forget about it.
Talk to a Specialist, a Family Member, and/or Another Friend
When in a difficult situation, it often helps to talk to someone who will understand and can offer helpful advice. If you are not sure if you should talk to your friend or not, try talking to a therapist, family member, or another friend.
If you are struggling to cope with the situation, talking to a therapist or counselor can be extremely helpful. They can provide an objective perspective and help you work through your emotions.
Talking to a family member or another friend can also give you some much-needed support and allow you to express what you are feeling. Just make sure that this person is someone you trust and who will not gossip about the situation with others.
This can be a great way to gauge the severity of the situation and get some outside perspectives. It also allows you to unload all of your feelings and get some helpful advice. Just make sure that you choose someone you trust and who will not judge you.
Give Yourself Some Time
Whether you decide to talk to your friend or not, it is important to give yourself some time to heal. This is a time for self-care and reflection. During this time, you can do things that make you feel good, such as reading, journaling, going for walks, listening to music, and so on. Spend time with other people, too.
It is also a time to explore your feelings and try to figure out what you are thinking and feeling. This can be difficult, but it is an important step in moving on. Do not try to rush the process and allow yourself the time you need.
In addition, be patient with yourself. The healing process takes time, so do not expect to feel better overnight. Allow yourself to grieve and do not be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
Be Willing to Listen and Forgive
There is a chance that your friend did not mean to hurt you or that they are struggling with something themselves. If they approach you and want to talk, be willing to listen to what they have to say. Do not interrupt and try to see things from their perspective.
If they are truly sorry, try to forgive them. Holding onto anger and resentment will only hurt you in the end. That does not mean you have to forget what happened or that you are required to be best friends again. Just try to move on and be civil with each other, especially if you cannot avoid seeing each other.
Final Thoughts
If you have been hurt by someone close to you, it is normal to feel overwhelmed and struggling to cope. However, it is important to remember that you have the power to choose how you respond to the situation.
Take some time for yourself, both to heal and to think about what you want to do next. You might decide to talk to your friend or you might not. There is no right or wrong answer, so do whatever feels best for you.
As difficult as it is, try to remember that getting hurt by someone does not mean that the friendship is over. If you care about each other and are willing to work through the pain, you can come out of the situation even stronger than before.