Former Spouse Takes Over During Type A Mom Conference

I’m leaving tomorrow to head to Asheville, North Carolina for Type A Mom Conference.  I’ve been getting the house ready for my ex-husband to come and stay.  It all seems so strange but I thought it would be good for him and the kids to have the four nights together.  Actually when I think about him staying with the kids all alone for four nights in my house doing everything from getting Gabby ready for school on Friday to cooking dinner at night and handling bedtime routine to even occupying both girls this weekend, I laugh an evil little giggle.  I’m not sure who I feel more sorry for, the girls or my former spouse.  He has no idea what he is getting himself into and the girls will have to be patient with him.  Thank goodness T is a big helper and knows where everything is and even how to cook if need be.  Heck T even knows what medicines Gab takes and her way around our neighborhood.

I got a phone call last night from my ex around 9 PM.  It went something like this:

Him: *insert quiet worried voice* what are you doing?

Me: trying to unwind, watching a show.  what’s up?

Him: what should I pack?

Me: *insert slight giggle* what should you pack? uh, you aren’t going on vacation. whatever you think. I went grocery shopping and got enough food for all meals to be cooked at home, all laundry is done and I figured you guys would spend most of your time here just hanging out.

Him: okay, that sounds good.  I’ll figure something out to do with them.

Me: oh and by the way, you have to give T a ride to her school on Saturday, she has JCC practice for 3 hours but she can show you where to go

Him: okay I can do that.  *insert pause with awkward silence*  I’m getting nervous

Me: *insert laughing*  you are nervous?  *more laughing*  {sorry, couldn’t help myself}

Him: uh yeah I’m nervous, I’m going to be alone with the girls for a whole weekend, like by. my. self.

The girls are always with me.  They occasionally visit my parents but this isn’t very often either and not for long periods of time.  However my parents have been pretty good about watching them if I need to attend a conference or other work related events.  Majority of the time my mom stays at my house with them because that’s better for Gabby.

My former spouse on the other hand hasn’t spent all night with them in years.  They do not go visit him every other weekend like most fathers.  They used to years back, long before Gabby’s brain surgery but since then he hit a rough road and struggled in life.  This struggle left me making a decision on what was best for my girls and that was staying put in my home.  Their father doesn’t argue, he knows it’s best.  Since then he is doing much better and he does visit them often.  He usually comes over for dinner about once a week or once every two weeks.  Sometimes he even cooks for us so I can work or run an errand.  Sometimes he takes us out to dinner or takes T to the book store to buy the latest novel she has her eye on.  He’s trying…

In preparing the house for his stay I started thinking about things I normally don’t.  For instance when I was taking a shower I realized I don’t even have shampoo he could use.  I use shampoo for color treated hair.  My body wash is from Bath & Body Works and smells like Citrus and Green Tea, so very girlie.  I don’t live with a man and you can tell.  As I was grocery shopping I kept thinking about what would be easy to cook or what would Gab eat for sure so he wouldn’t have to struggle with her.  I also realized even laying out her clothes for school or knowing her routine is something that has to be written down.  She wears school uniforms, not sure he knows that.

Being a mom doesn’t mean you have super powers but sometimes we can fool people into believing that, can’t we?  After doing something for so long, it comes natural.  The more I think about it, he does have reason to be worried and scared.  And frankly, that makes me grin.  It’ll be a nice little reminder to both him and the girls to appreciate me.  They will survive and I know they’ll all handle it well.  I think I might just screen my calls for emergencies only.  T and I have a bet going on who will out last who.  Gabby can be a real hand full and a challenge.  Her and her father hit heads when they are together most the time.  It sure would be fun to have a Nanny Cam installed.

Are you going to Type A Mom? If so find me and introduce yourself.  I’m excited that I’ll have a couple of guest blog posts coming soon while I’m gone.