I Spoil My Kids – Is that a bad thing?
iVoices Liz Henry, Celena Gill and Dwan Perrin give their take on the New Yorker story on spoiled kids.
As one of iVillage’s iVoices, I share my views on spoiling my kids in the video below.
I’ll admit I was spoiled when I was little. I was raised in a middle class home with both of my parents working full time making a good living. I was my mom’s only child and I didn’t really want for much material wise. I remember when I was 16 I was given a 1994 red V8 Pontiac Trans Am. Looking back now I have to laugh at how ridiculous that must have looked for a young teen girl to be driving around. At least I had a job, I suppose.
On the flip side however, by the age of 12 I was balancing my parents’ checkbook, writing out the check for their mortgage and had chores around the house. My room stayed clean and organized, I took honor classes in school and made the honor roll. I was far from perfect and my parents had no problem letting me know if I was out of line. I was spoiled when they wanted to spoil me but didn’t mind taking things away or putting limits.
I feel like I raise my kids similar. I can’t say any of my children want for much. They have every kind of electronic you can think of from iPods, to computers, Wii, Nintendo DSi and toys galore. We go on nice family vacations and do a lot of fun things locally as well. A lot of the things we do as a family isn’t just for my kids but for me as well. I love spending time with them and experiencing new things.
I believe in a healthy balance. Each of my children are responsible for keeping their own rooms clean. They must always put up their own toys and belongings. They respect me as a mom and the times they don’t I have no issue taking their stuff away or grounding them. I’m far from a snowplow parent and my house will never look like one of those on the show of Hoarders. I constantly get rid of stuff and the kids know their toys have to stay in their rooms, not all over my house.
To be honest, if anything, I sometimes worry I’m too strict and that T has too many responsibilities around my house. With me being a single mom it has led to T helping out more than an average teen. I know this, she knows this. I’m extremely close to each of my children and they all know how much I love them, it’s spoken multiple times a day and shown regularly. T knows how much I appreciate her, I tell her all the time. She also tells me how much she appreciates what I do for her. All of my kids are thankful for what they have.
So when asked if I spoil my kids, the answer is yes. I spoil my kids and I don’t see anything wrong with it.
Do you spoil your kids? Do you believe there can be a healthy balance? What are your thoughts on the New Yorker story?
Yes I spoil my kids too! I work really hard in my dayjob and in my blogger life so that I can afford those things for them that my paycheck alone can’t take care of. My paycheck goes for living expenses and savings. My blogger proceeds are for fun. Sometimes I think the definition of “spoiled” is so dependent upon another person’s perspective of their individual experiences. Then when something goes wrong they automatically say it’s from being spoiled.
I think we all have struggles and we all parent differently. I do not spoil my kids, but in some ways they do have more toys due to my blogging business than they would if I hadn’t been blogging for so long. I get to take them on trips but now in the past month, I noticed I WAS doing almost everything for my kids. It dawned on my that my son, at almost age 6, is capable (not that he is on correct meds) to take care of his own dirty clothes, dress himself and all sorts of things. Now with my middle child on meds I have a chore list and they work on commissions — meaning they never know what they will get for their chores but they have to put a check up on white erase board acknowledging that they are doing their chores daily and OMG it has alleviated some stress off of me and taught them it’s important to keep a somewhat tidy home!