Helping Your Child Through the Agony and Pain of Divorce
Divorce can be confusing, stressful and sad no matter what your child’s age. They may even be shocked and angry at the thought of their parents breaking up. Some may even blame themselves and harbor guilt over the split. Although it’s a normal part of life to grieve the dissolution of marriage, there are things you can do to help lessen the anxiety and sadness. The following are important tips to help your child through the agony and pain of divorce.
Plan What You’ll Say
There’s no easy way to let your children know that you’re getting a divorce. Even those that expect something is up can experience anxiety from the life altering news. Before you tell your children, you want to sit down with your soon-to-be ex and discuss what you’ll say. It can also set your child’s mind at ease when you present a united front in how you’ll work together in the future. Plan on speaking to the family together instead of one-on-one. If your kids have questions, they can be addressed in front of everyone. Although a younger child may digest the information differently from teens, your children may find comfort from their siblings.
Allow Them Time to Grieve
Your child is going to experience intense feelings with the end of your marriage. That’s why it’s important that you allow them time to grieve the loss. Encourage your children to be open about what they may be going through and listen, no matter what time of the day or night they need to talk. If your child custody issues are a concern, you can ease your worries by clicking http://harshbergerlaw.com/child-custody for a free consultation with the Harshberger Law Firm. With custodial advice from the experts, you can try to resolve your issues with an ex quickly and harmoniously. This allows you more time to focus on your child’s needs.
Provide Structure and Stability
It’s important for children to learn to be flexible in life. But adjusting to a divorce can be hard for them to cope with. You can assist them through the many changes that are about to come by providing structure and stability within the household. Children feel comfortable when surrounded by a normal routine. If your kids are going to be spending time with each parent, but at different locations, keep to a similar schedule. Even though you may feel sorry for what you’re putting your children through, both parents need to come together with the same rules and disciplines if your child decides to act out. You should also resist the temptation to spoil your child with presents and other luxuries to win their favor. There should be no picking of sides when it comes to a divorce. Teach your child to love each parent equally no matter what has taken place.
Parent Jointly
Parents who are going through a divorce need to separate their differences with those of the needs of your children. Although you may harbor animosity over your break up, don’t take it out on the children. You can make the divorce easier on them by showing respect for your partner. Your children also don’t need to know the intimate details of your break up such as an affair, drinking problem or other issues that led to the divorce. If you have a disagreement, it’s important to resolve the issue out of earshot of your kids. If you have children, you’re going to have lots of life situations ahead of you such as birthdays, holidays, graduations, weddings, grandkids and more. The sooner you work toward getting along the easier it will be on everyone in the future.
Seek Professional Help
You can supply your children with the most loving environment, and they may still find it hard to accept your divorce. If your kids are angry, depressed, acting out or stressed, you need to seek professional help. Through discussions with an experienced counselor or therapist, they’ll be able to voice their concerns and unhappiness. The experts can also provide exercises that can guide them through this difficult time and on to a happier tomorrow. There may even be support groups where you children can meet with other individuals their age to learn how to cope.
Even the most amicable of break ups can be hard on your children. Although ending your marriage may be the best resolution for you and your spouse, your children may not see it this way. Fortunately, with the above tips, you can ease your child’s pain and help them move forward.