Should Married People Have Friends of Opposite Sex

For this week’s Because I Said So topic Buck and I are going to discuss the topic ‘Married with Friends’.  Should married people have friends of the opposite sex?

I think, like with everything else, there are limits and guidelines with this topic.  Those limits and guidelines might not be written in stone anywhere or may not even have been discussed between husband and wife.  They could just be more of moral guidelines.  Those hidden lines that you know are there and you know not to cross.  My first reaction to the question is, of course I think it’s okay to have friends of the opposite sex, whether I’m married or not.  This post is a good example of that.  Buck is married yet we consider each other friends.

Then the question can become more detailed as to what is appropriate with your friend of the opposite sex.  This is the part where I am sure not everyone will agree.  Although Buck and I are friends, we have met only twice.  We share a common goal with our blogging and were able to have a good time hanging out at two conferences now.  On that same note, Buck and I do not live near one another, but if we did I would not think it was appropriate to go out to dinner and catch a movie with him while his wife was home with their daughter.  I couldn’t imagine him going home and saying ‘hey honey let me tell you all about my playdate’.  Now if Buck and I did live close and we grabbed lunch together or something simple, during the day, then I don’t see a problem at all with that, as long as his wife didn’t.  When you have friends of the opposite sex when you are in a committed relationship and/or married then usually you try to include your loved one.  I am sure there are circumstances where this doesn’t always work out, different interests and such, but to me if I was inviting a man over for dinner and he wasn’t my spouse, then I would expect my spouse to join us.

Of course there are exceptions to every rule, as they say.  Work related outings and conferences are different.  Being with a group is different than one on one outings as well.  I really think it depends on the person and their moral views.  And to be honest, you know if you are doing something wrong.  You know where your heart is and you know what respect is.  As long as your respect is focused on your spouse first and foremost then I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.

I’m headed over to read Buck’s views on this topic, you coming?

Have a topic or question you would like to hear our views on? Have you always wanted to hear both sides of a topic or answers to a question, unbiased? You can submit topics or questions via comments or even anonymously to djane (at) mommadjane (dot) com. We will pick questions at random and blog on one topic per week.